…from Baz in Dronfield (UK)
This is simply unbelievable.
Click HERE to watch.
Mona Lisa – Nailed
Funny
Comments Off
Jul 062010
The Cow, The Ant and The Old Fart
Funny
Comments Off
Jul 022010
…From Ray in Prestonpans (UK) – with the bit on the end added by Andy.
A Cow, an Ant and an Old Fart are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them.
The Cow: I give 50 litres of milk every day and that’s why I am the greatest!!
The Ant: I work day and night, summer and winter. I can carry 52 times my own weight and that’s why I am the greatest.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Why are you scrolling down? It’s your turn to say something…
AVAILABLE NOW – EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN
Funny
Comments Off
Jul 022010
ALL WELCOME
Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants
The course covers two days, lunch will be provided as will instructions as how to take lunch from its packaging without a woman to hold it for you. Topics covered on this course include:
DAY ONE
TOILET ROLLS – DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practising with hamper (pictures and graphics)
DISHES & CUTLERY; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate amongst a panel of experts
REMOTE CONTROL
Losing the remote – Helpline and support groups
LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down whilst shouting – Open forum
DAY TWO
EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play
HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation
REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did
IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation and anger management
LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Role playing and slideshow
HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques
REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU’RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class, NOT your secretary
GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counsellors available (male counsellers sadly unavailable; none passed training course)
VIRUS ALERT !
Funny
Comments Off
Jul 022010
If your computer does this when copying a file
You KNOW it’s been infected with some crap!
EMERGENCY ROOM – ALABAMA MEDICAL CENTRE
Funny
Comments Off
Jul 022010
…From Baz in Dronfield (UK)
I could be wrong, but judging by his hat, this guy ain’t gonna make it
Priceless!!
The Story of Adam & Eve’s Pets
Funny
Comments Off
Jul 012010
Adam and Eve said, ‘Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.’
And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.’
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.
And it was a good animal And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.
And Adam said, ‘Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.’
And God said, ‘I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you. His name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG’
And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.
And they were comforted and God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, ‘Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.’
And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.’
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.
And Cat would not obey them.
And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat’s eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.
And Adam and Eve learned humility. And they were greatly improved. And God was pleased.
And Dog was happy.
And Cat didn’t give a shit one way or the other
Not For Young Eyes
Funny
Comments Off
Jul 012010
…From Peter in Ruby Bay (NZ)
Due to a power cut, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a torch high over her mummy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby.
Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked.
Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born.
The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom.
Connor began to cry.
The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.
Kathleen quickly responded, “He shouldn’t have crawled in there in the first place… smack him again!”