…From Peter in Ruby Bay (NZ)

Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress he quits his job and  buys 50 acres of land in Alaska -  as far from humanity as possible. He sees  the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s  total peace and quiet.

After six  months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He  opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there.

“Name’s Lars, your neighbour from forty miles up  the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night… Thought you might  like to come. About 5.00 p.m.”

“Great”, says Tom, “after six months out here I’m ready to meet some local folks. Thank you.”

As Lars is leaving, he stops. “Gotta warn  you……be some drinkin’.”

“Not a problem” says Tom. “After 25 years in the  business, I can drink with the best of ‘em.”

Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. “More  ’n’ likely gonna be some fightin’ too.”

“Well, I get along with people, I’ll be all right.  I’ll be there, Thanks again.”

“More’n likely be some wild sex, too,”

“Now that’s really not a  problem” says Tom, warming to the idea. “I’ve  been  all alone for six months! I’ll definitely be  there. By the way, what should I wear?”

“Don’t much matter….. Just gonna be the two of us.”

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