Jokers Wild

…from Peter in Ruby Bay (NZ)

“LORD…. THEY ARE FINALLY TOGETHER” …

Judy got married and had 13 children. Her first husband, Ted, died of cancer.

She married again and she & Bob had 7 more children. Bob was killed in a car accident, 12 years later.

Judy ‘again’, remarried,…. and this time, she & John had 5 more children.

Judy finally died, after having 25 children.

Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, “Lord, they are finally together.”

Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best friend, Margaret, “Do you think he means her first, second, or third husband?”

Margaret replied:….

“I think he means her LEGS, Ethel….”

re-posted for Grant in Grays (UK)

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2010 when…

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your mobile to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your mobile, which you didn’t have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12.. You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #9 on this list.

AND NOW U R LAUGHING AT YOURSELF

…From Peter in Ruby Bay (NZ)

Outside Bristol Zoo (England) there is a car park for 150 cars and 8 coaches.

There also used to be a very pleasant attendant with a ticket machine charging cars £1 and coaches £5.

This parking attendant worked there for all of 25 years.

Then one day just didn’t turn up for work.

“Ho hum”, said Bristol Zoo Management, “better phone up the City Council and get them to send a new parking attendant” ……

“Err no”, said the Council, “that car park is your responsibility” …

“Err no”, said Bristol Zoo Management, “the attendant was employed by the City Council, wasn’t he?” …..

“Err NO!”

Sitting in his villa in Spain is a bloke who had been taking daily the car park fees amounting to an estimated £400 per day at Bristol Zoo for the last 25 years…

Works out to an estimated £3.65 million – less of course his living expences for the last 25 years!!!