An excellent response to my ‘gentle East Coast FM reminder’ on Friday.

In fact when I got home after the show, Glynis asked me if I was going to re-name it as the ‘Gaygan Family Show’ such was the impact of actually receiving a number of faxes from different branches of the same family scattered around England.

So thanks for tuning in.

We managed to get the webcam up and running – eventually.
Goodness me, how handsome do I look – or what?

I am actually on again tomorrow morning (Monday) filling in on the Morning Show for Les who is on holiday. So if you are at a loose end twixt 9.00 and noon, tune in and join Jim and me for three hours of topical chat and music.

— or 18 examples of “why I should have stayed in bed this morning!”

A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She read … ‘and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: ‘Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?’

The teacher paused then asked the class:

‘And what do you think the man said?’

One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly …’I think the man would have said – ‘B****y h**l!! A talking pig!’

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

…From Peter in Ruby Bay (NZ)

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard.
I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.

He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.

An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.

The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour.

This continued off and on for several weeks.

Curious I pinned a note to his collar: ‘I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.’

The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: ‘He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 – he’s trying to catch up on his sleep.
Can I come with him tomorrow?’

Don’t forget to tune in tomorrow (Saturday) at 5.00 (GMT) for my Golden Oldies Show on

East Coast FM

And you can see me too if you press the right buttons

(You have been warned!)

If you want a dedication, call me on 01620 826444 during the show

or email me there at

studio@eastcoastfm.co.uk

It would be great to hear from you!

EAST COAST FM

…From Baz in Dronfield (UK)

Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so
fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
.
.
A boy asks his granny, ‘Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?’
Granny replies, ‘Sod the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!’
.
.
Little Billy asks his dad for a telly in his room. Dad reluctantly agrees.
Next day Billy comes downstairs and asks, ‘Dad, what’s love juice?’
Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about sex.
Billy just sits there with his mouth open in amazement.
Dad says, ‘So what were you watching?’
Billy says, ‘ Wimbledon .’
.
.
A woman standing nude in front of a mirror says to her husband, ‘I look horrible, I feel fat & ugly, pay me a compliment.’

He replies, ‘Your eyesight is perfect.’
.
.
Wife gets naked & asks hubby, ‘What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?’

Hubby looks her up & down and replies, ‘Your sense of humour!’
.
.
An elderly couple is attending Mass.
About halfway through, the wife leans over and whispers to her husband, ‘I just let out a long silent fart; what do you think I should do?’
He replies, ‘Put a new battery in your hearing aid.’

….From Peter in Ruby Bay (NZ)

Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. 
He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.

The 10 pm news was coming on.
The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Bob and said, “Do you think he’ll jump?”

Bob said, “You know, I bet he’ll jump..”

The blonde replied, “Well, I bet he won’t.”

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, “You’re on!”

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.

The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob, saying, “Fair’s fair. Here’s your money.”

Bob replied, “I can’t take your money….I saw this earlier on the 5 pm news, and so I knew he would jump.”

The blonde replied, “I did too, but didn’t think he’d do it again.”

Bob took the money…

…From Peter in Ruby Bay (NZ)

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of pounds for dinner.

I took out my purse, pulled out a ten pound note and asked, ‘If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?’

‘No, I had to stop drinking years ago’, the homeless woman told me.

‘Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?’ I asked.

‘No, I don’t waste time shopping,’ the homeless woman said. ‘I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.’

‘Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?’ I asked.

‘Are you NUTS!’ replied the homeless woman. I haven’t had my hair done in 20 years!’

‘Well, I said, ‘I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.’

The homeless Woman was shocked. ‘Won’t your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.’

I said, ‘That’s okay. It’s important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine.’

…From David in Thorpe Willoughby (UK)

The driving manual says the average driver’s reaction time is: 0.75 seconds……… or 1 car length for every 10 mph……

Now test your average reaction time.

Be very careful as this can become addictive. Click on the link below and good luck.

Reaction Test