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Such a good impersonation – and obviously on USA Radio!
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Frank Sinatra…This is SUPERB!!
Funny
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Jan 132010
It’s a Mystery
Funny
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Jan 122010
… From Big John in North Berwick (NB)
I’ve seen this one before John, and yet it still amazes me how it’s done.
Just Click HERE and get ready to be mystified.
I Can Run – And You Can’t Hide!
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Jan 122010
A RETIREE’S THOUGHT.
Funny
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Jan 122010
…From Peter in Ruby Bay (NZ)
My wife said, “Whatcha doin today?”
I said, “Nothing.”
She said, “You did that yesterday.”
I said, “I haven’t finished yet.”
A Kid’s Point of View
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Jan 122010
…From Peter in Ruby Bay (NZ)
A mother took her five-year-old son with her to the bank one busy lunchtime.
They stood in line behind a very fat woman wearing a business suit complete with pager.
After waiting patiently for a few minutes, the little boy said loudly, “Wow, she’s fat!”
The mother bent down and whispered in the little boy’s ear to be quiet.
A couple more minutes passed by and the little boy stretched his arms out as far as they would go and announced;
“I’ll bet her bum is this wide!”
The fat woman turned around and glared at the little boy. The mother gave him a good telling off, and told him to be quiet.
After a brief lull, the large woman reached the front of the queue. Just then her pager begin to emit a “beep, beep, beep”.
The little boy yelled out, “Run for your life, she’s reversing!!”
A Simple Equation!
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Jan 082010
To show you what I mean, I have illustrated it on the board behind me. Please feel free to copy it into your notebooks …..
No Sex Since 2005
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Jan 082010
…From Baz in Dronfield (UK)
A crusty old Army Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local socialite. There was no shortage of extremely young ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
‘Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?’
‘Negative, ma’am. Just serious by nature.’
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, ‘It looks like you have seen a lot of action.’
‘Yes, ma’am, a lot of action.’
The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, ‘You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.’
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, ‘You know, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?’
’2005, ma’am.’
‘Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 2005! Thats bloody ridiculous!’
She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to ‘relax’ him several times.
Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, ‘Wow, you sure didn’t forget much since 2005.’
The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his serious voice, ‘I hope not; it’s only 2130 now.’
Inner Peace
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Jan 062010
…From Peter in Ruby Bay (NZ)
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives.
By following the simple advice I heard on a The Doctors Medical TV show, I have finally found inner peace.
A doctor proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started.
So I looked around my house to see things I’d started and hadn’t finished, and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Jack Daniels, a bottle of shhardonay, a bodle of Bim Jeem, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescoke an a box a choclits.
Yu haf no idr hou f**n gud I feal.
Peas sen dis orn to dem yu fee AR in ned ov inr pis.
What Old People Do For Fun
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Jan 062010
…From David in Thorpe Willoughby (UK)
Click on the link…
http://tintingood.multiply.com/video/item/9/WhatOldPeopleDoForFun.mpg
Popcorn…? Popbrain more like…!
Funny
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Jan 062010
…From Baz in Dronfield (UK)
This will blow your mind, just click on the link.
This is probably what it does to our brain cells – like putting your head in a microwave!!!!
Check this out! And we’re supposed to believe that mobile phones are safe?
Click on the link….