…Frae Carol in North Berwick (UK)

Are ye tired o’ those pish weak ‘friendship’ poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?
Well, here are a series o’ promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cute wee smiley faces here!
Just the stone cold truth o’ a great friendship.

1. When ye are sad — I will help you get pished and plot revenge against the bastard who made ye sad.

2. When ye are blue — I will try to dislodge whatever is choking ye.

3. When ye smile — I will know ye are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.

4. When ye are scared — I will take the pish oot o’ you every chance I get, until you’re NOT.

5. When ye are worried — I will tell ye stories about how much worse it could be until YE STOP WHINING!

6… When yer confused — I will try to use only wee words.

7… When ye are sick — Stay the f**k away frae me until ye are well again. I don’t want whatever ye’ve got.

8… When ye fall, I will laugh my f****n heed aff at you, you clumsy arse, ……..but I’ll help you up.

9… This is my oath…. I pledge it tae the end. ‘Why?’ you may ask; Because you are my friend.

Friendship is like pishing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you
can feel the true warmth.