Mar 232009

With thanks to Baz in Dronfield (UK) we are able to offer this exclusive competetion to the friends of Jokers Wild.

Good Luck !

The prize is a Seven day Six night Cruise on the fabulous new Lake Macquarie Cruise Line ship the ‘Creaky Dora’.

All fares to Dora Creek, transfers, food and drinks included, with dinner at the captain’s table as his personal guest ..

Good luck. All of us here at Jokers Wild hope you win!

The Flagship ‘Creaky Dora’ is shown below:
Note the Spa on the Upper Promenade Deck.

cruise

Just goes to Show

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Mar 232009

…from Peter in Sunny Bay (NZ)

A big mining company recently hired several cannibals.

“You are all part of our team now”, said the HR manager during the welcoming briefing. “You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don’t eat any of the other employees”.

The cannibals promised they would not.

Four weeks later their boss remarked, “You’re all working very hard, and I’m satisfied with you. However, one of our Admin girls has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?”

The cannibals all shook their heads indicating “no”.

After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, “Which one of you idiots ate the Admin chick?”

A hand rose hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals continued, “You fool!!!!! For four weeks we’ve been eating Managers and Supervisors and no one noticed anything, but noooooo, you had to go and eat someone important!!!!”

The Joys of Golf

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Mar 232009

…from Baz in Dronfield (UK)
(Ah..the old ones….)

Two women were playing golf.

One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.

‘Please allow me to help. I’m a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you’d allow me,’ she told him.

‘Oh, no, I’ll be all right. I’ll be fine in a few minutes,’ the man replied.

He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.

She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked ‘How does that feel?’

He replied, ‘It feels great, but I still think my thumb’s broken.’

Mar 212009

My wife and I were watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”

“No.” She answered.

I then said, “Is that your final answer?”

“Yes.” She replied.

Then I said, “I’d like to phone a friend.”

That’s the last thing I remember.

This is a MUST SEE site.

By entering any web address, you can change the dialect of the site content – with extremely funny results.

We run a couple of commercial sites and to see our wording changed is hilarious.

Just click HERE and enjoy.

Mar 202009

cartoon-4

cartoon-3

cartoon

cartoon-2

Mar 202009

This is not a joke…(WHAT?)

If you pass, you can safely turn on your ignition key again and cancel your annual eye examination…

Can you find the “C”??? (Good exercise for the eyes!) Be ready to go blind.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Once you’ve found the C……….

Find the 6!

9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999699999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999

Once you’ve found the 6…

Find the N! (it’s hard!!)

MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMNMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM

Talk about LUCK!!!!

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Mar 202009

…from Baz in Dronfield (UK)

Can you believe it? The guy in this photo won 181 million in the lottery on Wednesday and then found the love of his life just 2 days later.

Talk about LUCK!!!!

lottery-winner

…from David in Thorpe Willoughby (UK)

THIS IS TRUE AND TOOK PLACE RECENTLY IN SINGAPORE

A fire alarm, in a large office building rang at 4 p.m. when almost all of the company’s 500 employees were at work.

As usual in such circumstances the entire office was evacuated within 3 mins. & every employee gathered outside in the car park.

Nothing happened for ten minutes or so and there was no evidence of a fire. Then the firms Security Officer made an announcement …

“Dear employees, with melting heart I am making this announcement that for many of you, this will be your last fire evacuation drill. Due to the recession the company are laying off almost fifty percent of the staff.

When you move back into the building some of you will discover that your Swipe Card will no longer give you access to the office. If you are among those laid off, go home and all your belongings will be couriered to you tomorrow.

The management took this approach to save on overloading the email system with layoff notifications and goodbye messages and also to avoid any violent outbursts inside the office…

Hope you have a nice career ahead …

Please move forward and try your Swipe Card.”

two-storey-garden-house

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