The following are real conversations operators had with callers, as revealed in interviews with staff at the Cardiff Telecoms Directory Enquiries Centre.

C = Caller and O = Operator

C: I’d like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please.
O: I’m sorry, there’s no listing. Is the spelling correct?
C: Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the B fell off.

C: I’d like the RSPCA, please.
O: Where are you calling from?
C: The living room.

C: The Union of Shopkeepers and Alligators please.
O: You mean the Amalgamated Union of Shopkeepers?
C: Er, yes.

C: I’d like the number for a reverend in Cardiff, please.
O: Do you have his name?
C: No, but he has a dog named Ben.

C: I’d like the name of the Scottish knitwear company in Woven.
O: I can’t find a town called ‘Woven’. Are you sure?
C: Yes. That’s what it says on the label – Woven in Scotland.

C: The Water Board please.
O: Which department?
C: Tap water.

O: How are you spelling that?

C: With letters.

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