A Health and Safety Special
Good Slideshow – from David in North Yorkshire (UK)
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Apr 232008
Apr 232008
For those who don’t know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an “Australian treasure”.
General Cosgrove was interviewed on radio. This is a portion of the ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove, who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout troop visiting his military headquarters.
LADY INTERVIEWER (LI):So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL COSGROVE (GC): We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.
LI: Shooting? That’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?
GC: I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
LI: But surely you admit that this is a dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GC: I don’t see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
LI: But you’re equipping them to become violent killers.
GC: Well, Ma’am, you’re equipped to be a prostitute, but you’re not one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended.
Apr 232008
Artery……………………. The study of paintings
Bacteria………………….. Back door to cafeteria
Barium…………………… What doctors do when patients die
Benign…………………… What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section……..A neighbourhood in Rome
Catscan…………………… Searching for Kitty
Cauterize…………………. Made eye contact with her
Colic………………………. A sheep dog
Coma…………………….. A punctuation mark
Dilate………………………..To live long
Enema…………………….. Not a friend
Fester……………………. ….Quicker than someone else
Fibula…………………….. ….A small lie
Impotent…………………… Distinguished, well known
Labour Pain………………..Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff…………….. A Doctor’s cane
Morbid…………………….. …A higher offer
Nitrates………………….. …..Cheaper than day rates
Node……………………… …..I knew it
Outpatient……………….. …A person who has fainted
Pelvis…………………… …….Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative…………… A letter carrier
Recovery Room……………. Place to do upholstery
Rectum……………………. …..Nearly killed him
Secretion…………………. …..Hiding something
Seizure………………….. …….Roman emperor
Tablet…………………… …….A small table
Terminal Illness…………… .Getting sick at the airport
Tumour………………………..One plus one more
Urine…………………….. …….Opposite of you’re out
2 x Condoms………………..To be sure, to be sure!
Thanks Ralph.
Hello World! – by Admin.
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Apr 232008
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